1. |
||||
(this is the part of my body where divinity touched me,
a rough approximation of where and how it was felt
and why it felt that way and who felt it and for how long)
a ten-thousand-eyed-something-staring-you-down,
a gaze that sears and boils the skin
for just an instant and then it looks elsewhere.
uncountable sets of jaws snapping shut on your phalanges
before lifting to show you unscathed.
a hand that teases and does not provide orgasm.
it arouses you, which disgusts you,
which arouses you
because you're no stranger to denial.
to be tied up for centuries,
all along knowing that you'll be set free tomorrow.
we stepped away from love, pages at a time,
until flames consumed the library.
we emerged, soot-soaked, with nothing left to need.
sat and prayed for the safe passage of what we'll never read.
no way to know how many.
nobody counting, no need for it now.
fully aware of what the other hands are doing--
i watch them all let go at once,
trust, and follow suit.
twenty-seven saltires i've found my self affixed to,
ninteteen explanations for what was done to my soul,
nine attempts to get even,
none successful.
i do not lose control anymore.
i only give it away.
|
||||
2. |
subtle-body-horror
07:20
|
|||
remember when cutting was enough?
remember when all we wanted was pain, or blood?
it was so easy to get in a place like this
especially for, you know, people like us.
but when gore proves to be insufficient
there are plenty of other methods for extracting sin
and when they get your spirit
they clean it off and make it unrecognizable to itself.
then they put it back in
and it tries again.
why does the healing hurt so much more?
(because it's surrender?
because it's vulnerability?
because everybody sees something complete
and wants their own piece?)
oh, is this where i need to be, or am i
saving an ill-gotten seat?
i see the g-d in you and that's what terrifies me.
the worst in me comes forth and prostrates in your presence,
and i break upon your rocks
every time.
i see the g-d in you and that's what invigorates me.
the best in me comes forth and prostrates in your presence,
and i break upon your rocks
every time.
good night, whoever you are.
walk in light, whoever you are.
remove my ability to lie to the people i love,
or at least make the lies true.
don't let me die, whoever you are.
|
||||
3. |
||||
how near were we in that moment?
(i reached forward, could feel a door before me,
all i had to do was open and–)
when muscle memory kicks in,
and the end inverts to a beginning,
we tend to answer our own questions.
justice in the world to come,
crowns on our heads in the world to come,
the righteous of all peoples
have a share in the world to come.
You give me what I've never had before:
something to plan for,
an actual damage.
You made me this ugly for a reason.
i needed to know what it was like
to become irredeemable,
to be dismantled and scrapped for parts.
who found me strewn across the shoreline?
who led me home to rest?
i forgive you; i thank you; we have work to do.
|
||||
4. |
||||
5. |
||||
an average way of flickering-out,
hesitant and eager at the same time.
the limbs lock in place,
a freeze-up-and-focus.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
condemned half the complex.
refilled the vessel,
repopulated vacancies.
meet back here when necessary.
(won’t need to for a while.)
won't need to for a while.
the body parts start to move on their own.
a doe dodges its dour destiny,
and consequently commits
to capricious conclusions.
a clairaudient:
a canary-in-collapsing-coalmine.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
everyone remembers their first dead deer.
|
||||
6. |
||||
you appeared in my dream
and you were what gave it away
that i was not asleep.
tethered to self-generated half-truth.
suffered more, limbs splayed-out.
gazed into the yawning obliteration.
forgiven inhuman shadow-tendency
grants salvation from its cruelty,
the freedom to choose
to submit my-self in service to...
to be held up to the light 'til my wings catch flame.
to be made a holy fool again (and thankful ever since).
to belong to something brighter, higher,
that holds ninefold our hearts
within and around us, nearer than ever.
patriot to no country, holding no currency,
life restored by emergency operation.
un-dead walking among the ailing
as if i'd always been here.
it seems many remain unphased, or out-of-phase,
immovable, unchanged, disenfranchised.
nothing surprises or inspires, merely overwhelms.
what holds us back from love?
what beliefs turned the key
until it broke off in the lock?
who told us that it was beyond repair,
with no spare to be retrieved?
oh, patient prisoner!
cat-like we will slink between the bars
in judgmentless deliverance.
following ourselves inward/outward,
we scatter our scraps.
not to mark a path,
just something for the birds.
|
burnt-feathers Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
^angelic-electronic technology maintenance & development ^curse-removal & wish-negation service technician ^devotional
joyous glitch'd-body bloodmusic ^awkward maneuvers on the transcendental dance floor
patientprovidence@gmail.com
... more
Streaming and Download help
burnt-feathers recommends:
If you like burnt-feathers, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp