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in the light of total love

by burnt-feathers

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khsts
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khsts The painful road to universal salvation in the future of renewed sinless life has never been trumpeted this loud. Thanks for sending a message of will to believe in the future to this hopeless world! Favorite track: (librarian and exorcist’s unlikely embrace in pillar of flame) "prepare yourselves in the vestibule, that you may enter into the hall of the palace".
Dominic James
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Dominic James Claire continues to defy expectations and improve with each new burnt feathers album. Stepping away from (or layering atop of) the harsh landscapes of unforgiveness fog, total love hits you with the angelic synth drone harmonies that propel you to another sphere. Don't skip this one. Favorite track: subtle-body-horror.
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  • cassette by Deathbed Tapes
    Cassette + Digital Album

    if these sell out, there are more available at deathbed.xxx

    Includes unlimited streaming of in the light of total love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • WINGS / SIGNATURES 7" lathe-cut record
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    EMAIL patientprovidence@gmail.com TO PURCHASE. $20 or more. money from this will be donated to Trans Lifeline.

    in 2022, i worked with Sacred Fawn to make new versions of 2 songs from "in the light of total love" reimagined for the transcendental dance floor. since then, these remixes have been played at almost every burnt-feathers live event -- they have been integral in directing the shows energetically.

    i had just begun work on finally releasing this music physically when i heard the news of Dot's passing. never before has synchronicity been so heartbreaking. suddenly, this joyous project took on a new weight.

    rest in peace, Dot. thank you for making this music with me. miss you and love you always.

    more of Dot's music here:
    sacredfawn.bandcamp.com
    vorpilatus.bandcamp.com
    thtcrime.bandcamp.com
    decimalil.bandcamp.com

    this is a 7" plastic record, lathe-cut by Audio Geography Studios, with two pages of insert art by myself & Dot. 30 in total.

    Includes unlimited streaming of in the light of total love via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more

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1.
(this is the part of my body where divinity touched me, a rough approximation of where and how it was felt and why it felt that way and who felt it and for how long) a ten-thousand-eyed-something-staring-you-down, a gaze that sears and boils the skin for just an instant and then it looks elsewhere. uncountable sets of jaws snapping shut on your phalanges before lifting to show you unscathed. a hand that teases and does not provide orgasm. it arouses you, which disgusts you, which arouses you because you're no stranger to denial. to be tied up for centuries, all along knowing that you'll be set free tomorrow. we stepped away from love, pages at a time, until flames consumed the library. we emerged, soot-soaked, with nothing left to need. sat and prayed for the safe passage of what we'll never read. no way to know how many. nobody counting, no need for it now. fully aware of what the other hands are doing-- i watch them all let go at once, trust, and follow suit. twenty-seven saltires i've found my self affixed to, ninteteen explanations for what was done to my soul, nine attempts to get even, none successful. i do not lose control anymore. i only give it away.
2.
remember when cutting was enough? remember when all we wanted was pain, or blood? it was so easy to get in a place like this especially for, you know, people like us. but when gore proves to be insufficient there are plenty of other methods for extracting sin and when they get your spirit they clean it off and make it unrecognizable to itself. then they put it back in and it tries again. why does the healing hurt so much more? (because it's surrender? because it's vulnerability? because everybody sees something complete and wants their own piece?) oh, is this where i need to be, or am i saving an ill-gotten seat? i see the g-d in you and that's what terrifies me. the worst in me comes forth and prostrates in your presence, and i break upon your rocks every time. i see the g-d in you and that's what invigorates me. the best in me comes forth and prostrates in your presence, and i break upon your rocks every time. good night, whoever you are. walk in light, whoever you are. remove my ability to lie to the people i love, or at least make the lies true. don't let me die, whoever you are.
3.
how near were we in that moment? (i reached forward, could feel a door before me, all i had to do was open and–) when muscle memory kicks in, and the end inverts to a beginning, we tend to answer our own questions. justice in the world to come, crowns on our heads in the world to come, the righteous of all peoples have a share in the world to come. You give me what I've never had before: something to plan for, an actual damage. You made me this ugly for a reason. i needed to know what it was like to become irredeemable, to be dismantled and scrapped for parts. who found me strewn across the shoreline? who led me home to rest? i forgive you; i thank you; we have work to do.
4.
5.
an average way of flickering-out, hesitant and eager at the same time. the limbs lock in place, a freeze-up-and-focus. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. condemned half the complex. refilled the vessel, repopulated vacancies. meet back here when necessary. (won’t need to for a while.) won't need to for a while. the body parts start to move on their own. a doe dodges its dour destiny, and consequently commits to capricious conclusions. a clairaudient: a canary-in-collapsing-coalmine. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer. everyone remembers their first dead deer.
6.
you appeared in my dream and you were what gave it away that i was not asleep. tethered to self-generated half-truth. suffered more, limbs splayed-out. gazed into the yawning obliteration. forgiven inhuman shadow-tendency grants salvation from its cruelty, the freedom to choose to submit my-self in service to... to be held up to the light 'til my wings catch flame. to be made a holy fool again (and thankful ever since). to belong to something brighter, higher, that holds ninefold our hearts within and around us, nearer than ever. patriot to no country, holding no currency, life restored by emergency operation. un-dead walking among the ailing as if i'd always been here. it seems many remain unphased, or out-of-phase, immovable, unchanged, disenfranchised. nothing surprises or inspires, merely overwhelms. what holds us back from love? what beliefs turned the key until it broke off in the lock? who told us that it was beyond repair, with no spare to be retrieved? oh, patient prisoner! cat-like we will slink between the bars in judgmentless deliverance. following ourselves inward/outward, we scatter our scraps. not to mark a path, just something for the birds.

about

these are songs of souls plunging down into dark murky fires and pluming upward into something resembling sun-streaked water.

released on cassette via Deathbed Tapes in June 2023.

music videos for the album: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVkqKT6USDq3g2zJGwv3muZUcD4Kxlb47

credits

released June 3, 2022

written, recorded, performed, found and/or edited by burnt-feathers in 2020-2022.
mastered by Angel Marcloid at Angel Hair Audio (angelhairaudio.com).
album art by Alex Ford. photos by claire.
samples belong to their respective owners... thank you for your contributions Ms. Anderson, Mr. Knieper, Higher Self and Krishanti.
"it's an awesome feeling" integrates "OOBE" by JSandler48, used with permission.
Kelsey Lee was involved in the production of this album in too many ways to list. their impact, and my gratitude and to them, should not be understated.
a sincere thank-you to the following people: Alice, Laura, Alyx, Gabe, Trinity, Nigel, Eris, Emile, Vicente, Nicole, Echo, and all dear/deer friends of the Cave.

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burnt-feathers Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

^angelic-electronic technology maintenance & development ^curse-removal & wish-negation service technician ^devotional joyous glitch'd-body bloodmusic ^awkward maneuvers on the transcendental dance floor
patientprovidence@gmail.com
... more

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